i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize