My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
