sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
