Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
