I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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