how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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