am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
