I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
