Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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