I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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