my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
