You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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