everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
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Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
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Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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