He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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