I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
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