PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Redeem this text for a blowjob
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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