Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
