Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
