omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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