I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
