Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
As shirtless as possible
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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