no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
