how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I need to stop coming to work sober
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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