I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Randomize
