Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Sober January is a disaster.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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