I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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