So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize