What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she smelled like a LAN party
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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