i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize