hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
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There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
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I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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