Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
a search helicopter?!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
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