bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
