He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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