i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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