Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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