so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
