i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
