WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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