I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
