he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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