i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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