We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
