The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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