Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The struggles of a small town man whore
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
