I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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