four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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