Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
