3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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