If i come over, it means nothing
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
