Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
