Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
