so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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