I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
