HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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