nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize