when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I love you.
Bad choice
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize