3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
