Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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