Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize