Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
