I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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