I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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