Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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