i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize