hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
