Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
